337 days.
On January 28, 2018, I purchased the domain name for a blog that I had envisioned in my head. A blog that would be a ongoing recounting of my experiences, but would also be an ode to women and life and adventure.
I told myself that 2018 was the year I would write.
That was 337 days ago. It took me 337 days to get the words out. To sit down and commit. To sort out what I want to say in my head. To decide that the fear of failure and criticism cannot win.
I had big plans that the first blog entry I would write would be exceptional. I felt that the first had to be meaningful, it had to be everything. The first would set the stage for the rest to come. People would decide from the first blog post whether they would want to come back and read anything else that I had to say.
I couldn’t decide which words were exceptional enough, so I didn’t write anything for 337 days. I couldn’t commit to a topic that I believed would encapsulate everything I wanted people to know about the blog. I couldn’t figure out how to put everything in my head into the first post that people would judge.
So today I am deciding that I am not writing for the people. I don’t care if anyone comes back after reading this post. The truth is, this blog is unknown. If Google doesn’t know it exists, it doesn’t. No one will find this unless I tell them. And I will. But I won’t care if they judge. This blog will be my space.
I read today that the biggest reason New Year’s resolutions fail is because you don’t define your purpose. You want to do something, but you haven’t explained why. You have to have a why.
I know why I want to write. You can read my mission and purpose on your own. But I want to tell you here, in this first blog post, that at the end of the day, I am writing for myself. I am writing because it brings me joy and fulfillment. When I write, I feel eloquent. When I write, I feel that I can figure things out. And when I write, I feel that I can change the world, somehow.
There is nothing here, or on my About page, that says I am here to get pageviews or likes. I am not here to sell ad space or get a payout from product reviews. If that were to ever happen, I’m sure I would let you know.
I am here, finally, after 337 days, to write.
I am here to connect with people through my stories, thoughts, and musings. I hope that something I say resonates with at least one person. I hope that someone finds my words inspiring or uplifting or at the very least, entertaining.
I am here, at a time in my life when some things are new and other things are not. Some important pieces are fitting together and other pieces are still in the box, waiting to be picked up, sorted, studied, and put into place. Sometimes the best way to tell a story is as it is happening, seeing my experiences as I am seeing them. But that won’t be possible for many things in my life right now, so I will do my best to catch you up.
I am here, uncertain, out of practice, afraid. But I am determined to do this because I believe that I have important things to say. I am not perfect, but I am not under the illusion that I should be.
The most important thing is that I am here.